Tuesday, 30 August 2011

What's at the Source of Commitment?

Commitment is a word used very often in the circles of loving relationships. In fact, it is so over-used that it muddles our understanding of what the commitment is towards. I have been pondering over the question of commitment in relationships all of last week. Is "commitment" directed towards the other person? Does saying "you are the person I'm committed to" make any sense at all? Or is it a commitment towards having an extraordinary life together with another? 

Just spending a little while on these questions had me realize that my "commitment" in all my relationships was to be with another. That sounds fine, until of course, I realize that "being with another" is what I will find myself doing irrespective of how the relationship is. That brings with it an element of attachment as opposed to commitment. Attachment, more often than not, brings with it an element of failure when things aren't working. It brings in such emotions as sorrow, frustration and helplessness when things aren't going the way you want.

Reading ancient books, as well as the modern ones, that talk of acheiving enlightenment and pursuing a journey of Self-discovery, refer to one single word that most often finds at least a chapter dedicated to it. That word is detachment. When one is detached from the surroundings, one finds enormous power to fulfill on the commitment irrespective of the circumstances that seem to take with you it's tide. True power lies here. Standing in detachment, and not just flowing with the tide, one finds great power to make things happen.

Then what is commitment, really? Perhaps it is something you create for yourself and the relationship. You might say, "This is how our relationship will be" and you make it happen. You might say, "our relationship is one of joy and celebration", and you find yourself fulfilling on this every moment of your life with your partner. Creating a life that you want along with your partner and fulfilling on it might just be the commitment that takes the relationship a whole new level of satisfaction and fulfillment.

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